(November 07, 2018)
I’ve Been Through Some Stuff
(When is Enough – Enough?)
Life is definitely a roller coaster ride
Hitting the waves, wrestling the tides.
You’re up and down with emotional bliss
While coming quickly around the curve,
Is a sweet, juicy kiss;
Knocking you backwards against the wall
With lots of “I’m sorry’s” doesn’t say it all.
At some time you must take a stand
Which way to go – Who’s in command?
But what I truly love is:
He’s Yours and You’re His!
I’ve been through some good and bad times
With family, friends, and acquaintances of mine.
There’s a sister who’s chosen to dismiss me as a relative
She refuses to acknowledge the love I desire desperately to give.
“She’s ill”, I’m often told. “Don’t be upset.
Someday she’ll remember your love
And cuddle you like a pet.”
It makes me sad knowing she’s not the same sister I love so much.
Dementia hurts so badly sometimes, but I just can’t give up.
(November 07, 2018)Keep me dear Lord. Keep me. Keep me yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Keep me from all harm, pain and sorrow. When I’m lost and can’t find my way, Keep me dear Lord. When I know not what to do or say – Keep me.
(October 17, 2018)I read a quote from Lilly Thomlyn that read, “Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.” What those words mean to me are the essence of the world I live in today. Six and a half decades are behind me and that has created a lot of past! So as I live in my world of now, I reflect at times on the past, sometimes with pleasure and sometimes with regrets. I have some control over my now, but absolutely no control over the past. Or could it be that I have more control than I think? If my perception of the past changes can I actually create a better past? Forgiveness for me means letting go of resentments. Resentment brings pain to the heart, forgiveness can be instrumental in releasing that pain. I think of forgiveness as a scissors. I use it to cut the strings of resentment that bind me to a past hurt and keeps me from being the best me I can be in me present world. The forgiveness I want to offer is not only to others that make up my past, but to my past self for not being perfect and displaying humanness. For making choices in my past world that would not be made in my world of today. The life that has been lived has served me well. The moon beams and sunshine have had an equal share with the thistles and thorns of life. Both molding me into the woman of today. A woman who is very aware that she can create the world she chooses to live in. Memories are the envelope to the past. I read once we have memories so we can have roses in December. How the past is perceived by us, has a direct bearing on how we are living and how much we are enjoying the world of today. Another beautiful quote is “Life can only be understood backwards, but must be lived forwards.” I would like to rearrange the words of Lily Thomlyn to read Forgiveness means having great hope for a better past. I enjoy roses in December even if its only in my mindful memory. They are as real to me there as they are in my garden in June! My world today has the meaning and depth that it does because I have been willing to look backwards and apply forgiveness.
(September 26, 2018)
I awakened early with the slight tossing of covers around me as I felt the presence of his body exiting the bed. He walked quietly to the bathroom, each step carefully leading to the next in the dim morning darkness, trying passionately not to disturb my soothing sleep.
I secretly smile as I realize how much we have synchronized our daily needs and actions as we grow older together. We seem to awaken at the same time, speak the same thoughts, and even decide to wear the same color clothing when we dress to begin our daily routines.
I have you Heavenly Father to thank for this “togetherness”. I am so fortunate not only to have you at my right hand from dawn to sunset to shake down any mountains of doubt or confusion that chooses to attack me, but I have him who has walked every step of my “new normal” with me during the unforeseen changes in my life. Together we have grown in peace, understanding, thoughtfulness, and of course LOVE.
As each new day unfolds challenges to celebrate life, I rejoice in the path of trust that the Heavenly Father and I will explore together. Where I am weak, He is strong. When my mind wanders to the land of forgetfulness, He gently strolls me back to reality. He’s never caught off guard because he’s busy guarding me from unseen dangers around every bend. When my heartbeat rushes frantically at each doctor’s visit wondering if everything inside me is going as well as it looks on the outside, He soothes me to inhale and exhale at his command and restores my confidence that “He’s got this” and together we shall overcome.
Togetherness with Christ in my life and my spouse at my side, there’s nothing I need to fear. I am grateful each day knowing these two “constants” are working together for my ultimate good. Tragedies will be trampled. Sorrows will be silenced. Joys will be rejoiced. Because life changes every day, its confident to know that “togetherness” will conquer all.
(September 26, 2018)
Super Powers and Their Values
Our Super Powers come from our innate feelings of security. It’s what makes us happy, comfortable, enthusiastic, and somewhat competitive. It’s where we fit in and nestle among others with the same aura. It’s who molded us to choose our favorite activity, career, or talent that just seems to pull into gear whenever we’re faced with urgency to respond, assist, or comfort others. It’s when we come to that fork in the road when a decision must be made rapidly without hesitation and we arrive with unique solutions or antidotes to solve any problem or circumstance that even surprises us sometimes. It’s how we know we’ve done our best at the spur of the moment to satisfy ourselves and those around us.
The values of Super Powers are they make your world more peaceful and those around you enjoy being in your presence. Super Powers make you appreciate your talents and the joy they bring to others. Super Powers give you the freedom to be who you are, when you want to be, how you want to be, what you want to be, and where you want to be without fear or doubt because you are in control.
Being punctual is a value I honor dearly. It stems from my Super Power of Patience requiring me to allow time for others without neglecting my own needs. This allows me to appreciate getting to my destination without rushing in traffic, assignments, or appointments. Super Powers are valuable tools to carry around everyday. You never know when you may need to use them.
(September 23, 2018)Adversity makes us stronger,
(September 19, 2018)I am aware of Patience unfolding more frequently when I feel bombarded with a multitude of commitments occurring simultaneously. I somehow managed to overload my “Calendar of Events” on the same date. Usually before indulging in these commitments, I patiently ask the party involved to hesitate until I check my schedule. If nothing is conflicting I give a green flag. But somehow, all of a sudden, a multitude of commitments show up on the same date and I want to participate in ALL of them. The red flag has flown! I have to juggle something to make this work. PATIENCE WHERE ARE YOU?
(September 19, 2018)We are all super hero’s with super powers whether we know it or not. Life is a timeless and essential drama for the purpose of growth. This business of being human is no easy task! As life moves forward it keeps dishing out plate fulls of beautifully prepared food and sometimes crap that no one wants to touch. How can we digest both?
(September 13, 2018)Courage is just dreams with shoes on! Dreams give life. Dreams belong to every vibrant, living being. Dreams define our past self and more importantly our future self. Dreams keep the spirit alive and strong. What is the secret to giving the mind the ability to dream? I have learned that whatever the age, 2 or 102, the ability to dream comes from the heart and should be nourished to stay alive. However, it takes courage to dream. It takes even more courage to run after that dream.
(September 12, 2018)Today my superpower is awareness.
(September 01, 2018)
Life can take so many twists and turns. Like ideas, it seems. One idea morphs into another and gradually we find ourselves living our ideas as we live our life.
A few years ago I had this idea; it literally dropped into my head one morning on the beach, “Combine writing and social work-let people inspire others with their writing thereby inspiring themselves.” The program was called Write ON! and I was all in trying to figure out how to get this idea into the world.
I have no idea what made me think of the Cancer Support Community, but I did and sent my ideas to Renata. We met and she liked the idea and the concept enough to let me try implementing it as a volunteer. I was excited and nervous, and I knew that it was a good idea. My mission has always been to hear other’s voices. Now there was a place for this to happen.
This original group met three times and then I took it to other community groups, a middle school in the city and a home school all girls Writer’s Circle. If participants wanted to post their writing anonymously, I set up a Facebook page for this. As a writer, I love putting my ideas into the world and I wanted to offer this to anyone who wanted to try, who maybe didn’t know how or who wanted to remain anonymous.
Last May, WHEN I LEAST EXPECTED IT, I received an e-mail from Dannie inquiring if I was interested in talking about coming to CSC as a writing instructor.
It was a no brainer. I believe my e-mail read, “YES. YES. YES. YES!!!” Only I had more exclamation points.
Updating my resume with a high-school friend I realized that since the original program at CSC Write ON! had had a really good run. Different groups had been writing for almost two years and each and every writer inspired themselves and me in some way. I knew that a writing group at CSC could be inspiring and I wanted to be part of it. I also generated 34 ideas to bring to my meeting with Dannie which my very smart friend told me to bring 5-6!
Talking with Dannie was a good lesson and exercise in recognizing what I had been doing and learning and how I wanted to grow personally and professionally. I knew without a shadow of a doubt and every cell in my body that I wanted to be part of CSC. I also knew, in that way we know this would be full of twists and turns AND that I would be inspired in ways I had not imagined.
It was and is important to me to be ALL IN and to encourage and inspire others. Therefore, I was incredibly nervous how the classes would go. I have my own style and fortunately Dannie encouraged me from minute one to BE ME, use this style and to try anything and everything. She is a welcome unexpected twist in this adventure as well. Dannie and the staff support the instructors in such a kind, gentle way it enables me to support the energy of the writing group each week.
And energy there is!
This is My Super-Power is the first class I’m teaching as the Writing Instructor and I am humbled and grateful for these twists and turns. Our energy is supportive, easy, kind and fun. The group is relaxed and we encourage one another to think, write, share and write even more. The value of writing and sharing in a group gives our voices a space to live.
I hope that the writing classes continue to inspire and challenge us. To help us reach out to others and look inward with our writing. With each written and shared word we are empowering ourselves to find out voices. Recognize our voices. It’s living in the present and knowing our words are preserved for the future…full of things that we might not expect.